


The Picture in My Head (is Not What's On the Page)

by Pippinpaddleopsicopolis (Barnable)



Series: They're Counting On You [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Book 1: Water (Avatar), Day Four: Traveling | Angst, F/M, Northern Water Tribe, Sokka (Avatar) Has Dysgraphia, Sokka (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Sokka (Avatar)-centric, Sokka Week 2020, Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barnable/pseuds/Pippinpaddleopsicopolis
Summary: Yue suggests Sokka write down the stories of his travels, only to find out he's been keeping a secret from everyone.
Relationships: Sokka/Yue (Avatar)
Series: They're Counting On You [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995538
Comments: 7
Kudos: 87
Collections: Sokka Week 2020





	The Picture in My Head (is Not What's On the Page)

“…and then we escaped from the crystals and it turned out that the King of Omashu was Aang’s best friend Bumi all along! Oh, and the crystals that were suffocating us were actually rock candy which was surprisingly good. You should see if you can try some one day.”

“Okay.” Yue didn’t say more, too busy laughing at the ridiculousness of his story. She was fairly sure he’d exaggerated a few parts of it, but did it really matter all that much? He clearly wanted to impress her, and she wasn’t going to call him out on it. “You know, you’re really great at telling stories. Have you ever thought about writing them down? You know, so you could share them with more people?”

Sokka’s expression fell suddenly. He leaned forward on the bridge, staring down at the rushing water below them. For a moment, it seemed like he was about to say something, but he didn’t. Instead, he just sniffed and nodded along, though it was clear that he had no interest in doing what Yue suggested for reasons he wouldn’t or couldn’t explain. After a long moment of silence, he turned to look at her again, the look in his eyes wide and sad.

“No, I don’t think I could do that,” he said, his tone flat. It didn’t sound like he wasn’t confident in his storytelling abilities, but like there was something else that he’d yet to say. “For one thing, they’re really not my stories to tell. I was there for them, yeah, but I never really do anything. I’m just the wingman, you know? I just make jokes and throw my boomerang around sometimes.”

“You seem really important to me,” Yue told him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Sokka smiled, and thankfully, it looked genuine. “I wasn’t saying that you _have_ to write your stories down, I just thought it might be a good idea. You know, you’ve traveled around so much and even if it’s just for you, I think it might be fun to keep kind of a log for everything you’ve been through. Just so you can remember all of it, and maybe your friends too.”

“I… can’t. I can’t do that.”

“Why not? You sounded like you were having so much fun telling stories to me just a minute ago. Do you just not like the idea of writing them down? I understand that. Wanting to keep it as more of personal thing. In my family—”

“No, no, it’s not about that, it’s just…” Sokka’s voice trailed off as he turned back to the water. Whatever he was thinking, he was reluctant to share. That much was obvious from the way his mittens twisted around each other and his gaze latched on to every passing fish. He took a deep breath before picking up his thought, not looking up when he did. “This is pretty dumb, so you can’t tell anyone, okay? I haven’t really said anything about it before and I don’t want anyone to find out and realize how stupid I am.”

“You’re not stupid.” She reached out for his hand, giving it a squeeze. Sokka turned a small smile her way, but his gaze didn’t quite follow it. “But I promise I won’t tell anyone, okay? Whatever this is, it’s your decision when to share it.”

“Okay. But you’re not going to think any less of me either, right? Because this is… this is _really_ embarrassing. Like, getting sneezed on by Appa was glamorous in comparison.”

Yue chuckled. “You can tell me, Sokka. It’s okay.”

“I… can’t write.”

His tone was utterly dejected and dry, and more than anything, Yue wanted to reach out and pull him into a hug. The only reason she didn’t was because of how off-putting his posture was; how closed off he was as he pulled his arms closer into himself. He sniffed, biting down on his lip as he glanced over to her out of the corner of his eye, another breath escaping his lips and swirling in the air before he elaborated.

“I mean, it’s not that I _can’t_ , exactly,” he babbled, his words about twice as fast when he pushed a hand through his hair, “I’m just not good at it. At all. And I don’t know why because I love reading and drawing and all of that stuff but I’m not good at it. Every time I try, it all just looks _terrible_ and then Katara makes fun of me for it, so I give up until I decide to try and it’s just this cycle, you know? And her and Aang both have such nice handwriting and I just— I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to write. I guess I’m just not smart enough.”

“No, that can’t be it.” Yue shook her head quickly, reaching to give his hand another squeeze. “You’re probably the smartest person I’ve ever met, Sokka. Why don’t you show me? They parents gave me all sorts of calligraphy lessons when I was growing up. Maybe I could help.”

In all honesty, Yue wasn’t really expecting Sokka to agree, but he did. He held her hand, following her off the bridge and back to her home. She led him straight into the room where she did her lessons, grabbing a couple brushes and blank sheets of paper before sitting across from him on the floor. Yue handed Sokka one of them and slid a sheet of paper across to him, which he took reluctantly. He was already chewing on his lip again, failing to meet her gaze when he tried.

“Do you want to start by just writing your name or something?” she asked gently. “Just so I can see what you’re talking about?”

Sokka hesitated before nodding, carefully slipping off his mittens before he started to write. Though she was almost expecting Sokka to have exaggerated his struggles—he continued to boast about how amazing he was, but she could tell that he wasn’t at all confident despite his words—that wasn’t what happened at all. Instead of having slightly messy handwriting like Yue was expecting, Sokka’s words were almost illegible, half the sentence he wrote being so scrawly and misspelled that she couldn’t make out what it said.

There were tears in Sokka’s eyes by the time he finished (which was longer than Yue expected because he was _not_ at fast writer in the least), but he brushed them away quickly, staring down at his work like it were a dead body. Yue reached out to him, wanting to give his arm a reassuring squeeze, but he pulled away, shaking his head to refuse the touch. They hadn’t known each other long but already she knew how to recognize the look on his face. The one that said he wasn’t good enough for himself.

“That’s a good start,” said Yue encouragingly, trying to do her best to help him through it. Sokka only shook his head again, and she struggled to find the words to combat the sad look in his eyes. “You said you do a lot of reading, right? Maybe it would help you learn if you tried to copy off something else. That’s how I learned calligraphy.”

“No, it doesn’t help. I’ve tried it.” His voice was low, his words shaking slightly though he was clearly trying to combat it. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why I can’t do it. I just see things in my head that I can’t bring to life and it’s _awful_. It’s like, I know what the words are supposed to look like, but my fingers can’t make them out. I can’t put them on the page for some reason and I don’t know why.”

“Here.” Yue shifted around to sit beside him, gently placing one hand on top of his. Sokka looked over to her, his eyes wide and slightly bloodshot as he chewed on the edge of his lip. “Just take your time. Be delicate with your movements and don’t think about it too hard. You’re just writing your name. Nothing else.”

Sokka nodded, his tongue just barely poking out of his mouth as he squinted and leaned toward the paper. Yue kept hold of his almost shaking hand, doing her best to help him relax and keep himself on the right track. It took time, but after almost a full two minutes, the word was on the page in front of him. It still wasn’t perfect, and the letters were a little wonky in a strange sort of way, but Yue didn’t point that out. She just turned and kissed his cheek, laughing when his eyes went wide in surprise.

They kept at that for a while, Yue gently guiding Sokka along the lines and helping him find pieces of literature to copy off. He was a fast learner, but definitely struggling with the process, and Yue found that the easiest way to keep him from being too hard on himself was to get him talking. So, she asked him questions. He’d been to so many places before he arrived at the Northern Water Tribe and she wanted to hear every story he had. He seemed more than happy to tell them, and it helped him focus as he slid his brush across the page.

“And you really invented that?” asked Yue, still holding his hand as he began a new, slightly less sloppy sentence. “All on your own?”

“Well, I had a lot of help,” Sokka told her. His face fell and he suddenly pulled away, placing the brush back down in its place. “As you can see, I’m not exactly the best at writing stuff down, so… kind of had to rely on other people for that. I’m trying to get better at it, though. I really am. It’s just… I guess it’s hard when everyone just makes a joke out of it, you know? I know they mean well with their jokes and everything, but I just don’t think they believe that I’m doing my best and it— it hurts.”

And Yue’s heart dropped because she related to the sentiment too much. She knew exactly what that felt like. To not be the person you wanted to be. To be a disappointment for trying your best to make yourself happy. She couldn’t count the number of times people had told her not to do things that weren’t “ladylike” when she was a little girl and ever since then, it hadn’t gotten much better. People had an image of who she was and what she was meant to do, and she didn’t agree. Yue let go of Sokka’s hand suddenly, turning to pull him into an embrace.

Sokka was stiff for a moment, his eyes wide and his shoulders squaring, but he slowly eased into her grasp. He slid his arms up her back, his fingers gently tugging at her shirt as he gripped on. His breath was warm against Yue’s shoulder when she pulled him close, closing her eyes the same way he did and matching his deep breaths. His fingers were still shaking, and she could feel that through her coat, but his heartbeat was steady and even and she knew that it was going to be okay.

“Are you okay?” Sokka’s voice almost startled her, and she slid back suddenly. Never once did their hands part, Yue’s eyes flickering back and forth between his in bewilderment. “Yue?”

“It’s not about me,” said Yue, giving his hands a little squeeze.

He returned the gesture. “Of course, it’s about you. It’s always going to be about you.”

It took Yue longer to understand what Sokka was trying to say than it should’ve but the moment it clicked, she lifted a hand to his cheek and pulled him into a kiss. His lips were soft and warm, but his smile was even better, finally happy and okay as he slid his hands around to squeeze her back again. The moment wasn’t long, but it was perfect and even when they pulled apart, they held each other’s hand to keep that little connection. Yue smiled, and Sokka returned the expression as he bit down on the edge of his lip in the most adorable way.

“Okay, you want to try writing something longer?” Sokka didn’t nod right away, but he did eventually, and she reached out for the brush, hesitating before she said another word. “I think we should write down one of those stories you were telling me before. Which one was your favorite?”

“I have to say, I’m a pretty big fan of how I saved that entire village from Jet.” The look in his eyes still wasn’t totally happy but his tone was better. Gentler. “But maybe we should start at the beginning, with our first travels when we left the Southern Water Tribe. Those are probably the most important to document. Everything that happened in the middle was just happenstance.”

“Sounds good to me. So, how did you start your travels?”

Sokka hesitated. “Well, it wasn’t _quite_ the easy exit you’re probably expecting…”

It took two hours to write down everything that happened in those early days, as Sokka babbled on about countless things he ended up not even including in his writings, but there was no other way Yue would’ve rather spent her time.


End file.
